My Heart Is Broken

Wow...this is SO not the subject I wanted to discuss with this week's blog post, but I felt directed by the Lord to address it, so here goes.

This weekend, couples around the country will bask in the glow of the consumer-fest known as Valentine's Day. For some, it's about gifts, for others it's an opportunity to genuinely express their feelings for their significant other, and over-all, in theory at least, it's all about love.

The movie being released in conjunction with the day that's 'all about love', Fifty Shades of Grey, has nothing to do with love, however. That it would even be marketed adjacent to a day that emphasizes love is a sad indication of the condition of our society... Evidently we are at a point where love and lust/violence/abuse/perversion seem to be congruent. Congruent enough to be marketed together.

So much has been said about this movie already...what could I bring to the table, and why should I bring it? Here's what I have to bring: my heart, my feelings, and my perspective. Here's why that's relevant: I am a leader, a pastor, a shepherd of people. I love them and am concerned about their lives. More than I care about the success or failure of some movie, I care about the success or failure of the people I lead. I care if they are spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically, and relationally healthy. I care if they are in relationship with Jesus Christ. I care if they are struggling with sin, or bondage, or addiction, or other life-controlling issues. And hopefully, I love and care for them enough that God is able to reach through my heart and touch theirs with His love, His truth, and His freedom.

So, what are my feelings, my perspective, my heart regarding this movie? My heart is broken...period. When I first heard about the books and the movie, I was angry...for all the predictable reasons. Over time, however, as the reality sat in, that this movie really would be played in theaters across our land, including my city, and that real people...people God created, that God loves, probably some I know, were going to really watch it, the anger evaporated and the hurt took hold. Why is it that the existence of some smutty movie would break my heart? Good question. I will answer with a series of statements, and then be out of your way.

Fifty Shades of Grey breaks my heart because:
1. It is being marketed as something akin to a romance, somehow related to a love story.
This is sad because there are so few examples of real love...selfless, godly, healthy love, being elevated in our world today that someone (especially younger people) might mistakenly connect the content of this movie with love and then pursue it. This is most heart-breking because there is a true love...a genuine, life-giving, affirming, liberating love that comes from God that is available to every person through Jesus Christ, and there's no hidden agenda or catch to it.

2. It glorifies destruction.
Abuse of another human being, whether consensual or not, is sinful and destructive. I probably don't have to convince you of that. Why, then, is this so heart-breaking to me, when there are plenty of other movies, books, music out there that glorify sin or destructive behavior? It's because this particular movie purposefully wraps it's brand of abuse, violence, and perversion in a package that seems desirable. Again, it is tied to the idea of romance and intimacy, so it can be intriguing. The effect is that we become desensitized to it, and therefore more prone, as a society, to accept it. Why should we not want to accept this kind of behavior as a society? Let me make sure I say this strongly enough: BECAUSE IT'S BAD. IT IS HARMFUL TO PEOPLE. IT WILL DESTROY THEIR LIVES. The characters in the movie are a testimony to that. The main character is a twisted up mess of an inwardly-tormented man. One other thought here: I might be wrong, but it seems to me that if the average husband were to go home and ask his wife if he could beat her, and she said yes, and then he followed through with that beating, the police could very well show up at his door, arrest him, and take him to jail for domestic violence. If, however, we let that play out in the bedroom, somehow it becomes okay? Abuse is abuse. Jesus Christ suffered much pain and torment so that we could be healed and delivered from it. If we still desire it, something is broken inside of us.

3. Women should be the object of respect and adoration, not degradation.
Paul taught the Ephesians that husbands should love their wives in the way that Christ loves the church...by sacrificially giving themselves up for them. Women should know their value because the men in their lives are willing to sacrifice themselves on their behalf. Self-sacrifice is not the theme of Fifty Shades. This movie only serves to echo the drumbeat of culture that demonstrates to women that their value is found in their looks, or their weight, or their build, or in their ability to serve a man.

4. Millions of unsuspecting people are opening the door to a world of spiritual attack by reading these books and watching this movie.
There are so many destructive spirits attached to this movie that they can't be enumerated here. Those who subject themselves to this movie are opening themselves up to be attacked by these spirits. Here's what's sick...there are industries that are counting on it. I read part of an article today that mentioned the fact that hardware stores are stocking up on certain supplies in anticipation of a demand for them following the release of this movie. If that didn't just send a shiver up your spine, I don't know what will. Folks with no spiritual understanding are putting themselves, unwittingly, in a vulnerable place that could require deliverance and healing to get out of.

5. The beautiful is made ugly.
It must be hurtful to the heart of God to see something that He created, like marital intimacy, twisted into something ugly and grotesque. The very purpose and plan of God for intimacy is to give life, not destroy it.

6. The success of the books, and the anticipation of the movie indicates that Americans are very broken people. This movie isn't just an instigator of destruction, it is an indicator of destruction. In other words, our interest in this subject matter as a society...the fact that the movie isn't underground or relegated to sleazy, shameful cinemas somewhere in a back-alley, indicates that we are already sick. Something is wrong with us when we want to be entertained by such behavior. We crave what is shameful and harmful...we are not okay. We really do love darkness rather than light (Jn. 3:19). The sad thing is this, we can choose darkness if we wish...God allows us that decision, but in the end, the darkness destroys our lives and dooms our eternity.

Oh how I wish we loved the light. Oh how I wish our appetite was for wholesome, happy, healthy things that bring life to man and honor to God. How I wish we were a society permeated by love and not by lust. I have asked the Lord to break my heart with what breaks His heart before...if He answered that prayer, then His heart is breaking too.